Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
