btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
