She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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