Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
