we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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