no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
