do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
