that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
