I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
