she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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