mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
