Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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