Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
