do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got inside last night via doggy door
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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