bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
wow bdsm is so cute
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