doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
