He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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