Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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