return my video game
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
