I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Pants are for mortals
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
