apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
