i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
