First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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