there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
