i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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