please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All the doctor said was why
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
