Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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