So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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