I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
