im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
