I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
