I want to stick my p in your. b.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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