you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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