He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize