I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
