dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
