Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
