It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
