doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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