yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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