Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this will be a night to untag.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
