I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
