I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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