did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
