i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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