can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize