So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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