Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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