On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is Oprah even human
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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