So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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