you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
we're so committed to being not committed
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize