I only kidnapped one of them. chill
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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