is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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