and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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