Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
