dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
