Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
