My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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