I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
